About Me

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Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Abandoned by the orphanage when I was six weeks old, I was left in the nearby woods where I was raised by wolves for two weeks. Then they got sick of me and abandoned me. A few things were said, I could have been more diplomatic perhaps, but I still maintain that wolf politics is corrupt bullshit. After this, a squirrel* took me in, until I realized that, whilst I was crazy about nuts, I was also allergic to squirrel hair. I hiked to town and hid inside the back of truck that was transporting Starbuck coffee cup lids and stirrers to The Big City. I stayed here for 18 years, never alerting my presence to the truck driver, who used to pull over every 500km or so and silently cry to himself. To this day, that truck driver is unaware that he was my primary caregiver growing up. I like trucks, beards, and country and western music. I've accidentally used deodorant as hairspray and vice versa on only one occasion so far. *Because of this I will not wear products made out of squirrel.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

My friend who went to Great Ocean Road

This is a photo of my friend who drove along Great Ocean Road in Victoria. She took a photo of the event so she could prove it to others and also so she could look at the photo in the future and say, "Oh, that's from when I went to Great Ocean Road."

My friend really enjoyed her trip along Great Ocean Road. This is evident in her bashful smile. She didn't stand too close to the edge so you can see from the photo she's not afraid of standing at that height. Her hand is sitting on her hip with her arm stuck out in a kind of self-conscious gesture and the wind is rippling her skirt. This describes both the weather conditions and human psychological experiences featured on Great Ocean Road.

The water at Great Ocean Road is blue, and even more blue when you touch it up in Photoshop. In this photo, my friend is holding her stomach in because she's worried she'll look like she has a gut in the photo. However, she is athletic and her body issues really come from nowhere. You can see her arm is muscly enough and her boobs are pretty decent, and not just for someone her age. She may have stuffed her bra on this day, however: I can have no way of knowing. It is possible she just has misquito tits and is lying to all of us.

My friend cut her hair short a few months prior to this photo being taken. In no way did this event correspond to a preparation ritual for the Great Ocean Road trip. She didn't cut her hair off owing to religious convictions or meaingful notions, she just cut her hair off because she felt like it. She says that her hair is more manageable shorter and when you get to her age, you can't be bothered by long hair.

On her road trip crossing the Great Ocean Road, my friend changed the radio station on no less than 23 occasions. Every third time she would express renewed disgust at being unable to catch a radio signal. Her husband, who was driving, grew sick of it and put a CD in. She said, "I don't want to listen to this," and he said, "I don't want to listen to you" and there was an uncomfortable silence for about 30 minutes until they reached a petrol station. In the petrol station, her husband made a joke about the price of Coke, and my friend kind of smiled but the atmosphere was still strained. On the way back home, my friend kept thinking, "Am I doing the right thing in being with this man?" and "I could not face the possibility of sleeping with him tonight. That's a bad sign." She thought of saying something, but then she found it easier to fall asleep in the front seat.

My friend really like Great Ocean Road in this picture. You should go there.

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