About Me

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Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Abandoned by the orphanage when I was six weeks old, I was left in the nearby woods where I was raised by wolves for two weeks. Then they got sick of me and abandoned me. A few things were said, I could have been more diplomatic perhaps, but I still maintain that wolf politics is corrupt bullshit. After this, a squirrel* took me in, until I realized that, whilst I was crazy about nuts, I was also allergic to squirrel hair. I hiked to town and hid inside the back of truck that was transporting Starbuck coffee cup lids and stirrers to The Big City. I stayed here for 18 years, never alerting my presence to the truck driver, who used to pull over every 500km or so and silently cry to himself. To this day, that truck driver is unaware that he was my primary caregiver growing up. I like trucks, beards, and country and western music. I've accidentally used deodorant as hairspray and vice versa on only one occasion so far. *Because of this I will not wear products made out of squirrel.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Midnight in Manhattan Dreams; Overall grade: F-

Midnight in Manhattan Dreams - Rated R (some violence, full frontal nudity); director: Karene Arundell; starring: Karene Arundell

Overall grade: F-

Check out the information above, home-slices. And to the left. I'm IN this movie, fools. I must be, otherwise why would this awesome poster be here?

Roger Ebert says of Midnight in Manhattan dreams, "as slow-moving as it is trite, Midnight is one of the worst indie films to make it straight to DVD this year. Not for one moment does the film show any semblance of a relatable storyline. The main character, Karene (in a hideous attempt at self-promotion being the same name as the actor), is fundamentally unlikeable. I'd rather get cancer again than sit through this."

Scott Wilson of the Chicago Tribune noted, "so awful that it's almost funny, but it fails even here. It is never explained why the title character is in Manhattan, and the film seems to be set entirely in some backwards country town in Australia. The film's antagonist, a talking dog called Goofy, is less CGI than 1920s Disney-drawing. Absolutely awful on all fronts. Giving this film an F- is a compliment."

On the other hand, Rolling Stone called Midnight in Manhattan Dreams, "a film that... has actors... cross-breeding, and... vegemite... absolute abortion... of misjustice".

Anyway, gotta run. I can see a soft purple-pink dissolve settling across the camera-screen of my eyes, and I'm pretty sure that means I'm about to have a reflective moment about Manhattan.

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