Craigslist >> FOR SALE
WTS PEP (Proton Energy Pills). These pills are not yet illegal on the market, I have a whole bunch of them, I need money, and they are amazing.
One PEP will give you the strength of 20 atom bombs for a period of 20 seconds. The pep will drive you to save the world and make you fly. I know that 20 seconds doesn't sound like long but if you take a hundred or so at once, you can go for hours.
No major side-effects, you will awake the next day as a dimwitted hero until you have the pills again. Please note these pills are not illegal in Australia, however they are script-based only. I really need the money. Serious offers only please.
Please also keep in mind that when you take a Proton Pill, the crooks begin to worry. They might try to steal your stash. Fortunately, they can't escape their awful fate from Protons mighty fury, and you will kill all that oppose you.
Depending on how many more adventures I want to have (I'm getting sick of being Hero of our Nation), I might have some more for sale soon, so stay tuned to this station.
contact me at email@example.com